Periodic Mood Swings

DISCLAIMER: For those of you who blush easily, this may not be for you. But my husband lifted my spirits this week and I wanted to share this funny moment with you!

Every month she sends me a gift
But it never gives my spirits a lift
The present always contains the same thing
Crankiness, headaches, and lots of bloating
I can usually tell when she's about to arrive
And my husband wonders if he will survive
Because I am not pleasant during this time of waiting
I am not desirable - there will be no mating
As I have aged my symptoms are worse
(Isn't getting older ENOUGH of a curse?!)
My poor husband, with his quick charm and wit
Does what he can to snatch me out of the pit
This last week in the kitchen, he caught me off guard
(Which, when in this state - it isn't real hard...)
He said, "I'm gonna check around the FedEx website."
Perplexed I asked, "Why would you do that tonight?"
To this he responded with his crooked little grin
"I want the tracking number for when Mother Nature's getting in!"