The "Uh-huh" Syndrome

Those with small children
Do you suffer from this disease?
When your child is non-stop-talking
Do you “uh-huh” them just to please?
My oldest is a talker
Of this there is no doubt
He can ramble on forever
When there’s nothing to talk about
“Mom, did you know there’s a bird on our tree?”
“It’s black….no, it's blue….wait, it's red!”
My lips call out “uh-huh” to my boy
And I systematically nod my head
“Mom do you know what my favorite animal is?”
“It’s a bird…no a dog…can we get some fish?”
I reply back “uh-huh” once again
As I finish my grocery list
Off to the store he talks from the back seat
“That cloud looks like a car in the sky”
“When we’re at the store can we look at the toys?”
“There’s some Hot Wheels I’d like to buy”
Once again I reply “uh-huh” to his words
Unaware of my disease’s progression
Until at the Walmart in the pet food aisle
Do I learn a most dreadful lesson….

“Can we get my little fish now? I want to hold him while we shop.”
“I think I like the red ones the best. See them in the aquarium at the top?”
For some reason these statements jerk me awake
Why does my son assume there are fish we will take???

Then I think back --
I remember some of his words
Favorite animals listed….
The colors of birds…
Oh, no I didn’t!
I agreed to buy fish!
Did he also say Hot Wheels?
Tell me I didn’t do this!!
How do I fix the predicament I’m in?
Do I lie, or back out?
In defeat, I give in.

TAKE HEED TO THIS STORY
Don’t let this syndrome get you
Or you could end up like me
With a bowl of red fish too.

MEAN PARENTS

My husband and I are evil
This we truly are
We've been lying to our son
Perhaps taking things too far
Our oldest believes in Santa
We've told him he exists
But it's not just the myth of Santa
Or the nice and naughty lists
No, we've taken things much further
Than just a simple, small, white lie
And have used it to our benefit
To get him to comply
Whenever the little man pouts
Or starts to misbehave
We tell him we're calling Santa
As we give our phone a wave
To this he vows perfection
And that he'll stop behaving bad
We've even faked a conversation
(I know our actions are quite sad...)
What we're doing to our son
Has made me question a simple truth
If kids claim their parents mean
Should we believe our complaining youth?
As for now, my spouse and I
Will probably keep on with the fibbing
Parenting has a learning curve
With plenty of ad-libbing.

The Perfect Parent

The perfect parent has theories
On how to raise a child
The perfect parent will correct
When your kid is acting wild
The perfect parent has schedules
To which you should adhere
The perfect parent knows balance
Between family and career
The perfect parent can give advice
About any child rearing fact
The perfect parent is amazing
It's just the children that they lack!