After School Snacks

After school my two boys
Age six and age four
Can't seem to eat enough
They always want more
A trip to the market
A dozen treats I do buy
And yet after two days
All my shelves become dry
I understand they are growing
And they need to be fed
But at this rate I'm nervous
And here's what I dread...
What happens when these "boys"
Turn into two "teens"
If you are a parent
Do you see what I mean?
The Lord will provide
In Him I will trust
But if I am a wise woman
Stock in Hy-Vee is a must.

Good Conversation

I watched my boys today
Standing side by side
They'd been playing in the yard
And giggling down the slide
But something made them stop
And take the time to chat
Little did they know
I was watching where I sat
But Mother Nature calls
And when you're a boy age five and three
You can have a good conversation
While you take the time to pee!

The Y Factor

I'm slowly learning about male DNA
And why my sons act a certain way
For instance with my two little boys
Every puddle around is seen as a toy
I think it is a Y chromosome trait
Their little brains process puddles as great!
Like just today in a parking lot
My boys thought they had hit the jackpot
Puddles here...and puddles there...
Puddles pudd'ling everywhere!
Though we parked right by the store
It took TWENTY minutes to reach the door
And then, as if taken by complete surprise
My oldest son yelled out this cry:
"Oh no! Mom, now my pants are wet!"

Another Y trait? Males are quick to forget.

KINDERGARTEN!!

My oldest son starts kindergarten next year
He is so excited -- it is me who has fears
I worry about his first ride on the bus
Will the big kids be nice or be scary and cuss?
What about when he gets to school?
Will the other kids think my kid is cool?
Will he behave? And what about his teacher?
Will she see my son as sweet or a menacing creature?
Will he be good? A conscientious student?
Will he understand? Will he be prudent?

Oh this day! I dread in my mind!
But when I am rational (?) I (think) he'll be fine...

Just yesterday was kindergarten round up
His two concerns he openly 'fessed up
"Does the big school have bathrooms if I need to pee?"
"Will we play outside? What time will that be?"
These are the worries of my five-year-old son
I suppose they are logical for a wee little one
For him - the most important things to know
Are where to play and where to "go"
I'm sure my kid will do just fine
I am the one who will worry and whine
Lord, be with my son as he starts school next year
(And be with his mother, as she deals with her fears!)

Junior can count!

My two year old can count to ten
The way he learned may shock you when --
I tell you that what we do in our house
Is count to ten before punishment is doused
While we count, the kids must go to their room
There they wait for discipline's doom
I've been counting quite a bit these days
My oldest is struggling in his "behaving" ways
So little Junior did learn from his mother
How to count to ten because of an ill-behaved brother
Have any of you ever "taught" in this way?
An unintentional lesson through what you say?

I've got to admit, when his counting I heard...
It made me wonder, what's louder? Actions or words?

The "Uh-huh" Syndrome

Those with small children
Do you suffer from this disease?
When your child is non-stop-talking
Do you “uh-huh” them just to please?
My oldest is a talker
Of this there is no doubt
He can ramble on forever
When there’s nothing to talk about
“Mom, did you know there’s a bird on our tree?”
“It’s black….no, it's blue….wait, it's red!”
My lips call out “uh-huh” to my boy
And I systematically nod my head
“Mom do you know what my favorite animal is?”
“It’s a bird…no a dog…can we get some fish?”
I reply back “uh-huh” once again
As I finish my grocery list
Off to the store he talks from the back seat
“That cloud looks like a car in the sky”
“When we’re at the store can we look at the toys?”
“There’s some Hot Wheels I’d like to buy”
Once again I reply “uh-huh” to his words
Unaware of my disease’s progression
Until at the Walmart in the pet food aisle
Do I learn a most dreadful lesson….

“Can we get my little fish now? I want to hold him while we shop.”
“I think I like the red ones the best. See them in the aquarium at the top?”
For some reason these statements jerk me awake
Why does my son assume there are fish we will take???

Then I think back --
I remember some of his words
Favorite animals listed….
The colors of birds…
Oh, no I didn’t!
I agreed to buy fish!
Did he also say Hot Wheels?
Tell me I didn’t do this!!
How do I fix the predicament I’m in?
Do I lie, or back out?
In defeat, I give in.

TAKE HEED TO THIS STORY
Don’t let this syndrome get you
Or you could end up like me
With a bowl of red fish too.

Dialing 911

Junior struck again this last Saturday
Though this time he had not a thing to say
Just picked up the phone while with his Grandma
Pushed three little puttons to make a call
But then instead of hanging up
He left the phone on -- the silly duck
As the police walked to my mother-in-law's door
She wondered what in the world they were knocking for?
Opened the door - greeted them with a sweet smile
They asked, "By chance, did you give 9-1-1 a dial?"
Immediately her eyes turned back to her grandson
Taking in just what he had done
Gave a little chuckle and let out a sigh
Thanked the police and waved them goodbye
Realizing now she has another story to tell
About how her little Junior is as onery as ....heck.

The Trophy

On our first official potty training day
My oldest surprised me in the most humorous way
Junior had just accomplished #2 in the potty chair
While everyone was cheering, our oldest ran upstairs
In just a few seconds, he came running back down
With an old 4H trophy he'd recently found
And in the most encouraging way
He presented his brother with the gold-chipped display
Though I thought it was funny - it also warmed my heart
I realized my oldest was more than dirt, guns, and farts
And despite all their squabbles one thing was true
My boys love each other - for things as simple as going poo

The Mouths of My Babes...

My two little boys are killing me this week
By what they say when they speak
My five year old told me this of his snout
"I just use my finger to get the snot out!"
I told him if he acted this way
He must wash his hands three hundred times a day
To this he said in no certain terms
"I know, because of OTHER people's germs!"
Though I may sigh, I can't lose hope
His nose is clear and he uses soap!

My two year old is using more and more words
Though sometimes his sounds are quite absurd
He really wants us to understand
And our attention he does try to command
He's struggling with saying his "please" and "thank yous"
Never quite sure which one he should use
Now he says "please" for everything
And I find his logic quite amazing
If he uses "please" over and over
The "politeness rules" he's sure to cover

Listening to my kids always keeps me guessin'
Though there are times I AM taught the lesson
That out of the mouths of babes you'll find
Logic and wisdom that's one-of-a-kind!

Super Hero

Most folks look at me and think
"Ah, he's just a little kid..."
But what they cannot see is that
I'm keeping something hid

SHHH! I'm a super hero
Not a single person knows
Underneath my jeans and shirt
Are super hero clothes

I cannot blow my cover
So when Mommy calls me in
I just try to act real natural
Without telling where I've been

My super hero power
Is something I keep a secret
But I'll tell you what it is
If you promise you will keep it

Can you believe I have night vision
And can see out in the dark?
So I can sneak out late at night
And fight the monsters in the park?

But just like Superman
I have my kryptonite
Inside my powers fail
So I sleep with my flashlight!

ATTENTION!!! I NEED YOUR HELP!!! This is the poem I wrote for Project OpenBook. This is a community-written book. The proceeds are going to help release a girl in Nepal from slave labor and to help fund her education once free. This is where I NEED YOUR HELP!! I need people to vote for my poem! If you would follow this link to the MarbleSpark blog and vote for me! You might also check out the MarbleSpark website and see how you can either join or contribute to this wonderful cause. Thank you my blogger friends!

SHARING

I've tried for a while to teach my kids how to share
But up until now I couldn't get them to care
Then this last week they mastered the art
They shared all they had with all of their heart
And from their sharing, the whole family was blessed
With a bad case of the flu, who would have guessed
That teaching my kids to share could end up
With Mom, Dad, and boys all covered in throw up?!

CHUCK-E-CHEESE

Do you have little ones living in your home?
Is the Chuck-E-Cheese pizza and party place well known?
Our oldest son loves to go there
Though, a once a year visit is all we will dare
I understand why kids think it is fun
But after two minutes - I'm already done
It's not the noise, the singing, or food
It's how our YOUNGEST acts - which trust me - ain't good
Of course he wants to get up, play and run around
But disaster always strikes the moment his feet hit the ground
Our last visit there, he went on his way
And began grabbing tickets kids had won as they played
On the skeet ball game, he crawled up the alley
Then off to the next thing - he's not one to dally
Up in a jungle gym he refused to come down
He remained uneffected by our threats and our frowns
Knocked over some pop, lost a shoe in a crawl space
(Are you starting to see why I dread visiting this place?)
But then, my oldest smiles and I start to feel the guilt
Because his dreams are being made in the house that Chuck-E built

Praying with My Son

I am teaching my oldest son
How God wants us each to pray
And that it’s not a simple act
For the closing of each day
“God really wants to help us
When we feel scared or even sad
And he also wants to rejoice
When we are happy or quite glad.”

He struggles with the nightmares
And often wakes up in the night
I tell him he should pray
God will make things be all right
I know it must be hard
To believe what he can’t see
Faith is a tricky concept
For believers just like me
But he prays the way we talk
Though his one eye might still peek out
Maybe he’ll catch a glimpse
Of this God his Mommy talks about

Last night he came running in
Scared of monsters in his room
Yet not like the other nights
When he was sure he’d met his doom
I asked him if he’d prayed
For God to calm him of his fears
He nodded that he did
But then he whispered in my ear,
“I know that God has saved me
‘Cause the monsters are all gone
But I’m still a little scared
And would like someone with skin on!”

Super hero

I’m a super hero
I don’t think anybody knows
I’ve got super hero hats
And super hero clothes
You might look at me and think
Ah, he’s just a little kid
But what nobody can see is that
I’m keeping something hid
Butch the cat’s my trusty side kick
And we often go to battle
We climb trees and sneak through grass
To defeat our neighbor’s cattle
My super hero power
Is supposed to be a secret
But I’ll tell you what it is
If you promise you will keep it
I can run so fast I fly
And no one can ever catch me
(Except for Butch who runs fast too
He has to, so he can save me)
But just like Superman
I have my own kind of kryptonite
Inside my house my powers fail
But since it’s home - I’ll be alright
Plus, I cannot blow my cover
So when Mommy calls me in
I come back very happy
Though in secret I do grin
Yes, I’m a super hero
But as everybody knows
We don’t get the credit we deserve
I guess, it’s just the way it goes!

I wrote this for a community-written children's poetry book. If you would like to join and are a poet, artist, or writer, you might check them out at Project Open Book.

Junior Strikes Again!

My Little Junior struck again today
Though not in his normal and destructive way
No melted toys or Houdini tricks
No broken wood blinds for me to fix
Today I was scratching my uncombed, groggy head
Wond’ring who was unmaking my little boy’s bed?
This has never been a problem before
I make all the beds as my mid-morning chore
And then all day long the beds are just fine
(It’s the rest of the house that gets out of line)
But then I saw Junior and his chubby little hands
Unmaking the bed as I began to understand
He wanted his new Thomas the Train sheets to show
Because under a comforter no one would know
That he has fun trains all over his sheets
He must be quite proud and wants others to peak
Which made me consider that maybe some day
When he is toilet trained we might stay away
From fun little undies with cartoons or trains
‘Cause just like those sheets he might not refrain
From pulling his pants down to possibly show off
The cool new underwear his Mommy just bought!

SMELLS

I sit here writing
With a scented candle burning
Flavored coffee in the maker
Cup of Joe - I'm now yearning
Pot roast in the oven
With aromas I want to eat
Laundry in the dryer
Fresh fragrance with drying heat
Throughout my house
Such warm and pleasant smells
Then there is my bathroom...
An odor I can't pin point or tell
I've cleaned and scrubbed
Washed and bleached
There isn't an inch
I haven't reached
Wiped down the walls
Sanitized the trash can
But this odor evades
All my tough cleaning plans
What is about smells
And the feelings they create?
Some good, warm, and fuzzy
Others gag as they permeate
And what makes us want
Other people to sniff
Something we found so horrid
We passed out with one whiff?!
I'll take the warm fuzzies
And good smelling stuff
'Cause with two stinky boys
I've had more than enough!

(As for my bathroom
I blame my pee-crazy boys
Their aim is so crazy
Stand back when they deploy!)

OUTNUMBERED

I am outnumbered in our humble home
With two little boys and one who is grown
You might also know the cat's even male
At times I feel stuck in testosterone jail!
Hot wheels and tinker toys litter our floor
They cause injured feet, but we keep adding more
Baseball is played in our living room space
And what's an afternoon without a hardwood floor race?
Even my big boy joins in with the fun
(He seems to forget it's our kids who are young)
I love 'em to bits but there's one thing I hate
The bathrrom's a place that can make me irrate!!
Why's it so hard to put the toilet seat down?
It's what you should do when girls are around
And while we are on the subject of peeing
Puddles on the floor are very displeasing!
Still I love being the mom of two little boys
Life's always exciting with tons to enjoy
A day can't go by when they don't make me laugh
(There's always a storm when they take a bath...)
I'm forever behind with the week's house hold chores
No matter the work done - there's constantly more
Yes I am outnumbered -- I'm THE only chick
But I know I am loved from the dandelions they pick!

My Hero

He's my quirky kid, with the sandy blonde hair
Daunting his brand new Batman underwear
He likes to run, skip, jump, and play
When he's covered in dirt, it's been a good day
There's always a smile on his sweet little face
(And he's a sure thing when Mommy needs an embrace!)
I'm always amazed at his imaginative mind
And thoroughly amused at the creations I find
A little child's table becomes his big stage
With guitar in hand he soon does engage
In a little rock song for his younger brother
(Sometimes he even gets a little help from his mother)
Then he is off, with toy guns at his side
Protecting the family atop the yard slide
Running past bushes and to the driveway
Transformed to a superhero saving the day
Time for some milk and a quick cookie snack
Our hero's refreshed and ready to go back
Butch, the housecat is now ready for battle
They're off to defeat the neighboring cattle
I call for dinner as nighttime is falling
Though rubbing his eyes, he now begins stalling
He brushes his teeth - kisses Mommy goodnight
And though he's exhausted, the sleep he does fight
Slowly but surely he falls fast asleep
I check in his room without making a peep
Think back on the day as I watched him gallivant
Rememb'ring most of it spent without any pants!

Houdini

I have a little boy who just turned two
And I'm amazed (or annoyed) at all he can do
For months he's been climbing out of his bed
Breaking past safety locks when he wants fed
Unlocking the doors when he wants outside
Squirming from seatbelts when we take a ride
Nothing can keep this toddler restrained
I worry about when he's not contained!
I've done all the things that good mothers do
The house has been childproof since 2002!
Plugs in the outlets, he pulls out with ease
Any kind of a lock is simply a tease
What all can I do to keep him from harm?
If he is awake - I'm ALWAYS alarmed!!
I want him to live to see middle age
But how will he make it, if not in a cage?
And deep down I know he'd find a way out
Then I'd be arrested when people found out
What horrible mother locks her child up?!
She must be crazy, abusive, corrupt!
But how does one handle a child like mine?
I want to believe he'll turn out just fine
Maybe he will and my worry is waste
He'll grow up to find the world has a place
For boys who once caused their mom too much stress
Perhaps he'll land a seat in Congress!