Good Conversation

I watched my boys today
Standing side by side
They'd been playing in the yard
And giggling down the slide
But something made them stop
And take the time to chat
Little did they know
I was watching where I sat
But Mother Nature calls
And when you're a boy age five and three
You can have a good conversation
While you take the time to pee!

The Y Factor

I'm slowly learning about male DNA
And why my sons act a certain way
For instance with my two little boys
Every puddle around is seen as a toy
I think it is a Y chromosome trait
Their little brains process puddles as great!
Like just today in a parking lot
My boys thought they had hit the jackpot
Puddles here...and puddles there...
Puddles pudd'ling everywhere!
Though we parked right by the store
It took TWENTY minutes to reach the door
And then, as if taken by complete surprise
My oldest son yelled out this cry:
"Oh no! Mom, now my pants are wet!"

Another Y trait? Males are quick to forget.

The Trophy

On our first official potty training day
My oldest surprised me in the most humorous way
Junior had just accomplished #2 in the potty chair
While everyone was cheering, our oldest ran upstairs
In just a few seconds, he came running back down
With an old 4H trophy he'd recently found
And in the most encouraging way
He presented his brother with the gold-chipped display
Though I thought it was funny - it also warmed my heart
I realized my oldest was more than dirt, guns, and farts
And despite all their squabbles one thing was true
My boys love each other - for things as simple as going poo

Blogging Refraining for Potty Training!

I'm going to take
A little blogging break
I'm potty training Junior
In hopes he'll be ready sooner
Than was his older brother
As I was a pregnant, lazy mother
Who pushed off training him to potty
As I look back I think, "Maybe I was naughty?"
But the big kid is doing fine
And now it's Junior who'll walk the line

So, "Adios People!" For the next few days
Feel free to lift me up, if you're one who prays!!

The Mouths of My Babes...

My two little boys are killing me this week
By what they say when they speak
My five year old told me this of his snout
"I just use my finger to get the snot out!"
I told him if he acted this way
He must wash his hands three hundred times a day
To this he said in no certain terms
"I know, because of OTHER people's germs!"
Though I may sigh, I can't lose hope
His nose is clear and he uses soap!

My two year old is using more and more words
Though sometimes his sounds are quite absurd
He really wants us to understand
And our attention he does try to command
He's struggling with saying his "please" and "thank yous"
Never quite sure which one he should use
Now he says "please" for everything
And I find his logic quite amazing
If he uses "please" over and over
The "politeness rules" he's sure to cover

Listening to my kids always keeps me guessin'
Though there are times I AM taught the lesson
That out of the mouths of babes you'll find
Logic and wisdom that's one-of-a-kind!

CHUCK-E-CHEESE

Do you have little ones living in your home?
Is the Chuck-E-Cheese pizza and party place well known?
Our oldest son loves to go there
Though, a once a year visit is all we will dare
I understand why kids think it is fun
But after two minutes - I'm already done
It's not the noise, the singing, or food
It's how our YOUNGEST acts - which trust me - ain't good
Of course he wants to get up, play and run around
But disaster always strikes the moment his feet hit the ground
Our last visit there, he went on his way
And began grabbing tickets kids had won as they played
On the skeet ball game, he crawled up the alley
Then off to the next thing - he's not one to dally
Up in a jungle gym he refused to come down
He remained uneffected by our threats and our frowns
Knocked over some pop, lost a shoe in a crawl space
(Are you starting to see why I dread visiting this place?)
But then, my oldest smiles and I start to feel the guilt
Because his dreams are being made in the house that Chuck-E built

It's the little things in life....

I have discovered something a bit new
And I am quite amazed at all it can do
I had seen it advertized on TV before
But after one day, I've come to adore
This product that is truly and utterly amazing
I still can't believe all the time I've been wasting
If you haven't tried it please go out and buy
Pledge Multi-Surface cleaner and give it a try
I promise it will cut your dusting time in half
And what could ever be better than that?
(Sure, gobs of money or a house in the Bahamas
Would be a nice treat for this stay-at-home mama
But since my life consists of home and Wal-mart
I'll be happy to enjoy products I throw in my cart)
I'm sure that by now you think me a quack
But I can honestly say, I'm okay with that
I'll be content with the little things in life
And bein' one stinkin'-fast-cleanin' stay-at-home wife!

I wonder if this could ever be an Olympic event???

My Mother's Voice

Though my mother may not believe it
Her voice is always in my head
From the time that I get up
Until I fall back into bed
“Did you finish with the laundry?”
“Why are there dishes in the sink?”
“I see rings in all your toilets”
“If I were here what would I think?”
All these questions keep me going
To make a productive mom and wife
I wonder if her voice will leave me
Or if I’ll hear it all my life
“Did you get your thank yous written?”
“Are you not grateful for what you got?”
“What kind of daughter did I raise?”
“Don’t you tell me that you forgot!”
Her voice can make me go quite crazy
But it keeps me straight in line
I hope she knows I’m always listening
And that I’m going to turn out fine
(Even though I’m in my thirties
Most would consider me completely grown
I know she worries I’ll screw up
And that it’s her fault, not my own)
It’s an annoying little feature
Every mom puts in her child
That tiny voice you can’t ignore
That some days drives you completely wild
But I take comfort in the fact
That I still hear her voice today
And that I’ll drive my OWN kids batty
When it’s MY voice they hear some day!

MY BRAIN

My brain isn’t working
It’s screwed up inside
Had this problem before
It can’t be denied
It’s like there is fog
And it’s trapped in my head
I’m groggy, confused
But mostly brain-dead
It’s quite hard to function
When feeling like this
I go through the motions
But there’s so much I miss
Of course now that I think
And look back on my life
This problem began
As a mother and wife
Maybe my family is draining my brain
A sick twisted joke
Stealing the knowledge contained
You know, it wasn’t like
I was any Einstein
My thoughts were few
And few thoughts were mine
So whatever their reason
For draining my head
The joke is on them
I was already brain-dead

OUTNUMBERED

I am outnumbered in our humble home
With two little boys and one who is grown
You might also know the cat's even male
At times I feel stuck in testosterone jail!
Hot wheels and tinker toys litter our floor
They cause injured feet, but we keep adding more
Baseball is played in our living room space
And what's an afternoon without a hardwood floor race?
Even my big boy joins in with the fun
(He seems to forget it's our kids who are young)
I love 'em to bits but there's one thing I hate
The bathrrom's a place that can make me irrate!!
Why's it so hard to put the toilet seat down?
It's what you should do when girls are around
And while we are on the subject of peeing
Puddles on the floor are very displeasing!
Still I love being the mom of two little boys
Life's always exciting with tons to enjoy
A day can't go by when they don't make me laugh
(There's always a storm when they take a bath...)
I'm forever behind with the week's house hold chores
No matter the work done - there's constantly more
Yes I am outnumbered -- I'm THE only chick
But I know I am loved from the dandelions they pick!

My Hero

He's my quirky kid, with the sandy blonde hair
Daunting his brand new Batman underwear
He likes to run, skip, jump, and play
When he's covered in dirt, it's been a good day
There's always a smile on his sweet little face
(And he's a sure thing when Mommy needs an embrace!)
I'm always amazed at his imaginative mind
And thoroughly amused at the creations I find
A little child's table becomes his big stage
With guitar in hand he soon does engage
In a little rock song for his younger brother
(Sometimes he even gets a little help from his mother)
Then he is off, with toy guns at his side
Protecting the family atop the yard slide
Running past bushes and to the driveway
Transformed to a superhero saving the day
Time for some milk and a quick cookie snack
Our hero's refreshed and ready to go back
Butch, the housecat is now ready for battle
They're off to defeat the neighboring cattle
I call for dinner as nighttime is falling
Though rubbing his eyes, he now begins stalling
He brushes his teeth - kisses Mommy goodnight
And though he's exhausted, the sleep he does fight
Slowly but surely he falls fast asleep
I check in his room without making a peep
Think back on the day as I watched him gallivant
Rememb'ring most of it spent without any pants!

Remembering...

I forgot to forget the nausea and the swelling of the feet
I forgot to forget the backaches and the nights without sleep
I forgot to forget the pain of birth, the time, and the place
I forgot to forget the tears when I first saw his face
I forgot to forget the feeling of overwhelming joy
What a wondrous thing to remember, the birth of my boy!

This One's For the Moms!

This poem goes out to young mothers everywhere
We must bond together and reach out in care
There is such relief when I hear a mom say
"I know what you mean, I've felt the same way!"
It all started with my first pregnancy
Then carried out past the child's infancy
I couldn't remember one single thing
I swore that my brain was unraveling
I shared my great fear with my dear sister-in-law
She sweetly said "It's 'Pregnancy Stupids' that's all!"
How long with this last? Will I be dumb forever?
Will I lose all my wit and never be clever?
She said not to worry it surely would pass
(But she never did say how long it would last...)
My oldest is four and my youngest is two
Still I don't think my 'Prego Stupids' are through
Does this sound familiar? Can you relate?
No matter the woman - is this her fate?
At times I think back when I was fun, slim, and witty
(You know what I mean if your kid's itty bitty)
I REALLY miss my body and my once fertile brain
And yet there's nothing about which to complain
My life with kids is great - there's nothing I want to miss
And as far as my brains - they say that ignorance IS bliss!

MORNING HAS BROKEN!!

It's very VERY early, the sun ain't even shining
But the family's awake 'cause the youngest boy is crying
It's not because he's scared, in pain, or even sick
He just wants a drink of water and crying's his new trick
I know I should be thankful that the day has now begun
I've got two more extra hours to get all my stuff done
However I am cranky because all I want is sleep
Frustration is now growing - through my pores it starts to seep
So before I start my work and all my chores today
I get down on my knees and to my Lord I pray...
"Please be with me God, stop me feeling bad like this
And help me take KILL CHILD off of my 'TO DO' list!"

Houdini

I have a little boy who just turned two
And I'm amazed (or annoyed) at all he can do
For months he's been climbing out of his bed
Breaking past safety locks when he wants fed
Unlocking the doors when he wants outside
Squirming from seatbelts when we take a ride
Nothing can keep this toddler restrained
I worry about when he's not contained!
I've done all the things that good mothers do
The house has been childproof since 2002!
Plugs in the outlets, he pulls out with ease
Any kind of a lock is simply a tease
What all can I do to keep him from harm?
If he is awake - I'm ALWAYS alarmed!!
I want him to live to see middle age
But how will he make it, if not in a cage?
And deep down I know he'd find a way out
Then I'd be arrested when people found out
What horrible mother locks her child up?!
She must be crazy, abusive, corrupt!
But how does one handle a child like mine?
I want to believe he'll turn out just fine
Maybe he will and my worry is waste
He'll grow up to find the world has a place
For boys who once caused their mom too much stress
Perhaps he'll land a seat in Congress!

ME

I can be ditzy, but I've got SOME brains
I'm nobody seeking fortune or fame
I've made people laugh with poems I write
And making friends smile is something I like
I'm at home now, but I used to teach school
The students I taught were all pretty cool
(They listened intently and did their homework
They NEVER once thought, "This teacher's a jerk!")
At home I'm a mom trying to stay calm
When things get hairy I turn to the Psalms
Surely the Lord has heard this mom's prayer
"Help me God! Before I pull out my hair!"
My boys are great, but at times I could kill
The oldest is stubborn; the youngest a pill
They are my life, I would not change a thing
Even with all the dirty laundry they bring
My husband's the best, without him I'd sink
I still love it when he gives me a wink!
This is my life though not real exciting
Now I have started a blog for my writing
Here I am, just a simple young mother
Figuring things out one way or another!

Just Getting Started...

I'm starting something new
It's just the beginning
See if people out there
Like these poems I'm penning
I'm nobody special
Just a stay-at-home mom
Will strangers on the web
Think my poetry's the bomb?
The first poem for you
Is getting to know me
I'm ditchin' the kitchen
To write you poetry