Houdini

I have a little boy who just turned two
And I'm amazed (or annoyed) at all he can do
For months he's been climbing out of his bed
Breaking past safety locks when he wants fed
Unlocking the doors when he wants outside
Squirming from seatbelts when we take a ride
Nothing can keep this toddler restrained
I worry about when he's not contained!
I've done all the things that good mothers do
The house has been childproof since 2002!
Plugs in the outlets, he pulls out with ease
Any kind of a lock is simply a tease
What all can I do to keep him from harm?
If he is awake - I'm ALWAYS alarmed!!
I want him to live to see middle age
But how will he make it, if not in a cage?
And deep down I know he'd find a way out
Then I'd be arrested when people found out
What horrible mother locks her child up?!
She must be crazy, abusive, corrupt!
But how does one handle a child like mine?
I want to believe he'll turn out just fine
Maybe he will and my worry is waste
He'll grow up to find the world has a place
For boys who once caused their mom too much stress
Perhaps he'll land a seat in Congress!