'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving....

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving
When all through the house
Every creature was stirring
Including the pet mouse

I'd made some desserts
With the best intentions and care
In hopes family members
Tongues all could bear

The children started coughing
Smells filling their heads
Smoke billowing from my oven
My heart beating with dread

Pa with the extinguisher
And I with my fan
Put out the fire
In the black, char coaled pan

Now in my kitchen
All covered with splatter
I pulled at my hair
Not dealing well with the matter

Away to the store
I flew like a flash
Tore open the doors
And threw down some cash

My mind on the brink
Of a new dreamed-up thought
Could I pass off these items
As home-made and not bought?

When what to my scheming eyes
Should appear?
A stamp claiming "HOME-MADE TASTE"
Then came the welling of tears

My heart began beating
So lively and quick
I knew in a moment
This treat was the trick

More rapid than eagles
To the cupboards I came
And I whistled out loud
When I saw - colored cellophane!!

On cabinets and counters
And dishes it flew
The cellophane glistened
As if my secret it knew

To the neighbors next door
To my family the next day
I'll pass this off! Pass this off!
And I swear I'll never say!!

My eyes -- how they twinkled
My thoughts were now merry
I had new found relief
At my dessert trays I could now carry!

They sat full and wrapped
And sitting on my shelf
And I laughed when I saw them
In spite of myself

The next day we set off
In the kitchen I did work
But then at a question
My head turned with a jerk

These wonderful treats
However did you bake?
Will you give me the recipe
So next year I might bake?

Then laying a finger
To the side of a pen
And giving a nod
And a slight, nervous grin

I wrote down directions
Feeling quite like a liar
Hoping God in his wrath
Wouldn't strike me with fire

But instead a small voice
From the other side of the room
Squealed out innocent words
That would soon seal my doom

My older son did exclaim
Though out of my sight
"Mom didn't bake these desserts
She just bought them last night!"

Thanksgiving

It's that special time of year
We give thanks for all we have
Here's a list that I have made
For without I would be mad

I'm thankful for the ovens --
However would we bake
The delicious turkey meals
And desserts like pie and cake?

I'm thankful for dishwashers --
And how they clean the icky mess
A wonderfully designed machine
Relieving time and stress

I'm thankful for coffee makers --
And the beverage they produce
The smell is so enticing
Along with the caffiene boost!

I'm thankful for refrigerators --
Keeping dishes well preserved
Now less cooking for a week
Leftovers I will serve!!

I'm thankful for our Tahoe --
And how it hums our boys to sleep
A drive with peace and quiet
We relax as they count sheep!

I'm thankful for my washer --
And also for my dryer
'Cause after all the trav'ling 'round
The laundry piles up higher

I'm thankful for my family --
Loved ones near and far away
Thanksgiving wouldn't mean a thing
Just a lonely eating day

I'm thankful for my treadmill --
Waiting for me to run
With all the tasty treats
More fat to burn off these giggly buns!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving
Where ever you may go
Try not to overeat
Or your butt will surely show!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

MORNINGS

Mornings are the time
That I hate the most
Rushing to do anything
Even fixing toast
It never matters when I rise
I always feel behind
It's all the unexpected stuff
That puts me in a bind
I dress the kids and make the beds
It all seems very easy
But spilled juice and a ringing phone
Make me mad and kinda queasy
Some mornings are so bad
That though I try my best
What if simple chores aren't done?
Like getting MYSELF dressed?!
I know it will get better
As the kids grow and get older
But until that good day does arrive
I will cry on anyone's shoulder
And pray that things won't get too bad
Or that I won't come unglued
'Cause I'd hate to leave the house to find
I'm driving in the nude!

Eating Out / Eating In

I used to like going out to eat
Any day of the week was always a treat
Come home from work late at night
Not wanting to cook - go grab a bite
The atmosphere could be so very relaxing
Especially if the work day had been overly taxing
Delicious food -- maybe some wine
Let out a sigh, this life was fine!
No hurry to get home, enjoying conversation
Mentally taking in every sensation.

Then I gave birth...

No more relaxing when eating out
Now it's playing referee and trying not to shout!
Ten bathroom trips because a kid needs to pee
Hundreds of napkins to clean up spilt tea
Asking for high chairs with straps to tie down
The toddlers contained - no more running around
Keeping the oldest from knocking over waiters
Wishing we'd chose a drive thru order of taters

All this commotion because I hate to cook
Realizing irony when at our restaurant table I look
Eating out THIS night was to cause me less stress
But all around us is a huge, disastrous mess
There will come a day for eating out again
But until the kids graduate - I think we'll be dining in!

Losing Weight

What happens to our bodies
As we get up in the years?
Mine has stopped responding
This fact brings my heart to tears

No matter how I try
I rarely get results
Disgusted I give up
Adding injury to insult

I wish I could survive
On water and on air
Or that I loved to exercie
But I hate it to be fair

Oh, I love the bodies
Of Aniston and Kate Moss
How lovely would it be
To use your arm for dental floss?

Despite my constant failure
I'll get back on the diet wagon
Though I think the odds are better
of breathing fire like a dragon

We each have our thorns
Mine is losing weight
I'm headed for the treadmill
To run off this cake I ate!

My Husband

Want this button?

The toilet seat is never down
He spills crumbs all over the floor
Shoes track in so much debri
And he forgets what closets are for
The mail is scattered on top of the fridge
Along with his cell phone and keys
He refuses to flush before taking a shower
But afterwards could he please, please?

HOWEVER....

He works every day to provide for our family
And so I can stay home with the boys
He helps with bedtime (and with nightly prayer rhymes)
And then picks up their ungathered toys
When I am cranky and don't want to cook
He prepares a hamburger feast
The car is always perfectly maintained
And he tends to our family beast
The time that he spends with both of our kids
Always touches my heart
And when he comes home at the end of the day
I swear it is always the best part

This is my husband...good, bad, and ugly
I'll take him any day of the week
He loves me right back and rarely complains
Without him I'd be up a creek!

(Love ya babe!)

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patent, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

To see more Marriage Monday posts, click over to Chrysalis.

The REAL reason Halloween is scary.....

It's that scary time of year
The day we parents fear
For those concerned give ear
Yes, Halloween is here!

This day is deemed as scary
Because the bags our children carry
Are filled with treats un-dietary
And makes their actions quite contrary

So, be mindful of this day
As your kids go "treat" away
Remember, come what may...
You can't kill 'em just because their sugar high drives you nuts.....oops, Okay?

BIRTHDAYS

Who likes their birthdays? I'll tell you who -
Anyone under the age twenty-two
Up until then they're all pretty fun
Especially the birthday for year twenty-one!
Soon after that they make you feel old
Reminding you "aging" now has it's hold
First it is subtle but doesn't take long
Before you know it - your youth is far gone!
Oh, what I'd give to be young again
The wisdom from now - the body from then
Yet despite my complaints these days are a must
'Cause I'd rather get old than be ashes and dust!

Mommyland

Mommyland is a make-believe place
I created within my mind
When the days are rough I close my eyes
And visit from time to time
All the children obey their moms
And happily complete their chores
They hug and kiss (and never throw fits)
What mom could ask for more?
The laundry is done, no hamper is full
The clothes are all put away
The insides of closets are beautiful
Oh, how I want my house this way!!
Every meal is made to perfection
No mess is ever left behind
Whatever is made is always happily eaten
Kids never scowl or whine
This is the mythical place I visit
Any mother can surely see why
Next time you are stressed or pushed to the limit
Mommyland can more than satisfy
(Just brace yourself for when you get back
Because reality is where you live
And though it is nice to just take a break
Fun places rarely take captives!)

THE COLD

My head is stuffy - I can't think straight
My nose is running - this I HATE!
My throat is sore, I can't stop sneezing
The feelings I feel are not pleasing
I'm to the point where I hope I die
Still I know I'll pull through - and that makes me cry
But the crying only increases the mucous
So the drugs I took will now be useless
I sniff and snort and cough and sneeze
I beg the Lord with a VapoRub wheeze,
"Please make me well - unstuff my head!
Or just end it all and make me dead!"

Memories - Class of 1995

Seidl's science class, Clausing's band
Fifteen years ago in St. John land
Little memories in my mind
Feels like someone pushed rewind
Happy days with little stress
A bad day was a mid-term test
Lots of teasing and making fun
True bliss when our Tigers won!
Crazy home movies made by the guys
We all laughed until we cried
School plays we all acted in
(Just don't look up, Trav's mooning again!)
Brand new tractor at the prom
Keegan's failed potato gun (turned bomb)
Dead coyote tied to a car
(Did Cody take that joke too far?)
Car accidents we all survived
Who knew some of us had nine lives?
And then the Tang - need I say more?
Why did the guys drive it for?
Change of ownership with that beast
I lost track with that orange piece
Let us not forget about World History
Everyone passing was no real mystery
Those were the days, gone to the past
Though we didn't know then, it would go by so fast
I'll take the memories - it was all pretty great
But what I'd really love is my high school weight!!!

VACCINATED

In keeping with this wonderful H1N1 season.....here's to the flu vaccine!

Do you know what people say?
Blown kisses get thrown away
When you kiss, you should be tasted
This way your kisses are not wasted
My kiss is waiting, don't make it belated
But before you kiss me....are you vaccinated?

FEARLESS

Boys are so resilient
And never seem to rest
They give it all they've got all day
Trying to be the best
There may be a few seconds
When they experience fear
But its gone within an instant
And they seldom shed a tear
Oh, as a mom it scares me
To have two boys like this
But as a wife I love having
A man who's never scared out of his wits!

Ode to Jill

I have a good friend, her name is Jill
And I'll tell you right now, this girl is a pill
Where ever she goes, there's always a good time
But this isn't why I'm writing this rhyme
No, this little poem is meant to make fun
Of a time when Jill used her car to overrun
My poor, defenseless mailbox, whose life was cut short
By Jill, her car, and a bumper that's now warped
What's truly hilarious about this incident
Is that we live in the country where's there's nothing to hit!
Except for a mailbox, standing out in a field
It didn't stand a chance - Jill didn't even yield
Now, in her defense, she was backing up
And she called admitting guilt and offered to make up
But I'm starting to think she needs driving assistance
And though my idea might meet some resistance
I think a beeper when her car's in reverse
Could be the solution (though it may feel like a curse)
But I believe it would benefit precious Jill when she drives
And possibly the fate of other mailbox lives!

Crappy Days

When you're feeling down
And start to form a frown
Try not to be so sad
Things aren't that very bad
Life could be much worse
You could be under a horrible curse
That makes your tongue stick out
Whenever people are about
Or your skin could develop blue spots
Whenever you eat tater tots!
Or maybe like a crazy fruit
You show up to (school/work) in your birthday suit!
But definitely worst, hands down
You could live in a world without chocolate around
So when life gets tough
Call a friend to cheer you up
They will always be there
To tell you how much they care
(They might even take the time
To write you a silly rhyme!)
Take this simple advice
And please don't even think twice
Keep a smile on your face
Give someone a firm embrace
You'll probably make their day
(Or else they'll think you're gay!)
Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll agree
As long as you stay as happy as can be
Everything will turn out just right
So go out and indulge in some chocolate tonight!

The Perfect Parent

The perfect parent has theories
On how to raise a child
The perfect parent will correct
When your kid is acting wild
The perfect parent has schedules
To which you should adhere
The perfect parent knows balance
Between family and career
The perfect parent can give advice
About any child rearing fact
The perfect parent is amazing
It's just the children that they lack!

BAD DAY!!!

Alarm clock didn't sound today
Ran in late to work
Got a speeding ticket on the way
Policeman was a jerk
Missed a meeting - spilled my coffee
Look as frazzled as I feel
Tripped while running down the stairs
Now my shoe's without a heel
Ever have a day like this?
I'm trying hard to cope
Still I think I'd miss the water
If I fell out of a boat!

A little help, PLEASE?!

My two-year-year-old won't wear his clothes
The laundry's dirty - the grass needs mowed
Oldst boy won't take a nap
One more whine will make me snap!
The cat keeps wanting in and out
And what's this phone bill all about?
Make a call dispute the charge
Notice that my butt looks large
All day long it goes like this
Everything is all amiss
I'm up a crick I just don't know
Won't someone get in my boat and row?!

Answers from Above

I believe in God and I pray to Him a lot
I have faith that He hears me and my prayers are not forgot
His answers come mysteriously and I'm often left confused
(At times I wish He'd make an announcement in the news!)
I know that life's a journey and I must keep on believing
There's always another goal I'm working towards achieving
I'm told that this life's process is part of my own pilgrimage
But answers through the mail would ROCK! (I'd even pay the postage!)

OUTNUMBERED

I am outnumbered in our humble home
With two little boys and one who is grown
You might also know the cat's even male
At times I feel stuck in testosterone jail!
Hot wheels and tinker toys litter our floor
They cause injured feet, but we keep adding more
Baseball is played in our living room space
And what's an afternoon without a hardwood floor race?
Even my big boy joins in with the fun
(He seems to forget it's our kids who are young)
I love 'em to bits but there's one thing I hate
The bathrrom's a place that can make me irrate!!
Why's it so hard to put the toilet seat down?
It's what you should do when girls are around
And while we are on the subject of peeing
Puddles on the floor are very displeasing!
Still I love being the mom of two little boys
Life's always exciting with tons to enjoy
A day can't go by when they don't make me laugh
(There's always a storm when they take a bath...)
I'm forever behind with the week's house hold chores
No matter the work done - there's constantly more
Yes I am outnumbered -- I'm THE only chick
But I know I am loved from the dandelions they pick!