Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ode to Jill

I have a good friend, her name is Jill
And I'll tell you right now, this girl is a pill
Where ever she goes, there's always a good time
But this isn't why I'm writing this rhyme
No, this little poem is meant to make fun
Of a time when Jill used her car to overrun
My poor, defenseless mailbox, whose life was cut short
By Jill, her car, and a bumper that's now warped
What's truly hilarious about this incident
Is that we live in the country where's there's nothing to hit!
Except for a mailbox, standing out in a field
It didn't stand a chance - Jill didn't even yield
Now, in her defense, she was backing up
And she called admitting guilt and offered to make up
But I'm starting to think she needs driving assistance
And though my idea might meet some resistance
I think a beeper when her car's in reverse
Could be the solution (though it may feel like a curse)
But I believe it would benefit precious Jill when she drives
And possibly the fate of other mailbox lives!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Crappy Days

When you're feeling down
And start to form a frown
Try not to be so sad
Things aren't that very bad
Life could be much worse
You could be under a horrible curse
That makes your tongue stick out
Whenever people are about
Or your skin could develop blue spots
Whenever you eat tater tots!
Or maybe like a crazy fruit
You show up to (school/work) in your birthday suit!
But definitely worst, hands down
You could live in a world without chocolate around
So when life gets tough
Call a friend to cheer you up
They will always be there
To tell you how much they care
(They might even take the time
To write you a silly rhyme!)
Take this simple advice
And please don't even think twice
Keep a smile on your face
Give someone a firm embrace
You'll probably make their day
(Or else they'll think you're gay!)
Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll agree
As long as you stay as happy as can be
Everything will turn out just right
So go out and indulge in some chocolate tonight!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Perfect Parent

The perfect parent has theories
On how to raise a child
The perfect parent will correct
When your kid is acting wild
The perfect parent has schedules
To which you should adhere
The perfect parent knows balance
Between family and career
The perfect parent can give advice
About any child rearing fact
The perfect parent is amazing
It's just the children that they lack!