Wednesday, November 25, 2009

'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving....

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving
When all through the house
Every creature was stirring
Including the pet mouse

I'd made some desserts
With the best intentions and care
In hopes family members
Tongues all could bear

The children started coughing
Smells filling their heads
Smoke billowing from my oven
My heart beating with dread

Pa with the extinguisher
And I with my fan
Put out the fire
In the black, char coaled pan

Now in my kitchen
All covered with splatter
I pulled at my hair
Not dealing well with the matter

Away to the store
I flew like a flash
Tore open the doors
And threw down some cash

My mind on the brink
Of a new dreamed-up thought
Could I pass off these items
As home-made and not bought?

When what to my scheming eyes
Should appear?
A stamp claiming "HOME-MADE TASTE"
Then came the welling of tears

My heart began beating
So lively and quick
I knew in a moment
This treat was the trick

More rapid than eagles
To the cupboards I came
And I whistled out loud
When I saw - colored cellophane!!

On cabinets and counters
And dishes it flew
The cellophane glistened
As if my secret it knew

To the neighbors next door
To my family the next day
I'll pass this off! Pass this off!
And I swear I'll never say!!

My eyes -- how they twinkled
My thoughts were now merry
I had new found relief
At my dessert trays I could now carry!

They sat full and wrapped
And sitting on my shelf
And I laughed when I saw them
In spite of myself

The next day we set off
In the kitchen I did work
But then at a question
My head turned with a jerk

These wonderful treats
However did you bake?
Will you give me the recipe
So next year I might bake?

Then laying a finger
To the side of a pen
And giving a nod
And a slight, nervous grin

I wrote down directions
Feeling quite like a liar
Hoping God in his wrath
Wouldn't strike me with fire

But instead a small voice
From the other side of the room
Squealed out innocent words
That would soon seal my doom

My older son did exclaim
Though out of my sight
"Mom didn't bake these desserts
She just bought them last night!"

Monday, November 23, 2009


It's that special time of year
We give thanks for all we have
Here's a list that I have made
For without I would be mad

I'm thankful for the ovens --
However would we bake
The delicious turkey meals
And desserts like pie and cake?

I'm thankful for dishwashers --
And how they clean the icky mess
A wonderfully designed machine
Relieving time and stress

I'm thankful for coffee makers --
And the beverage they produce
The smell is so enticing
Along with the caffiene boost!

I'm thankful for refrigerators --
Keeping dishes well preserved
Now less cooking for a week
Leftovers I will serve!!

I'm thankful for our Tahoe --
And how it hums our boys to sleep
A drive with peace and quiet
We relax as they count sheep!

I'm thankful for my washer --
And also for my dryer
'Cause after all the trav'ling 'round
The laundry piles up higher

I'm thankful for my family --
Loved ones near and far away
Thanksgiving wouldn't mean a thing
Just a lonely eating day

I'm thankful for my treadmill --
Waiting for me to run
With all the tasty treats
More fat to burn off these giggly buns!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving
Where ever you may go
Try not to overeat
Or your butt will surely show!


Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Mornings are the time
That I hate the most
Rushing to do anything
Even fixing toast
It never matters when I rise
I always feel behind
It's all the unexpected stuff
That puts me in a bind
I dress the kids and make the beds
It all seems very easy
But spilled juice and a ringing phone
Make me mad and kinda queasy
Some mornings are so bad
That though I try my best
What if simple chores aren't done?
Like getting MYSELF dressed?!
I know it will get better
As the kids grow and get older
But until that good day does arrive
I will cry on anyone's shoulder
And pray that things won't get too bad
Or that I won't come unglued
'Cause I'd hate to leave the house to find
I'm driving in the nude!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Eating Out / Eating In

I used to like going out to eat
Any day of the week was always a treat
Come home from work late at night
Not wanting to cook - go grab a bite
The atmosphere could be so very relaxing
Especially if the work day had been overly taxing
Delicious food -- maybe some wine
Let out a sigh, this life was fine!
No hurry to get home, enjoying conversation
Mentally taking in every sensation.

Then I gave birth...

No more relaxing when eating out
Now it's playing referee and trying not to shout!
Ten bathroom trips because a kid needs to pee
Hundreds of napkins to clean up spilt tea
Asking for high chairs with straps to tie down
The toddlers contained - no more running around
Keeping the oldest from knocking over waiters
Wishing we'd chose a drive thru order of taters

All this commotion because I hate to cook
Realizing irony when at our restaurant table I look
Eating out THIS night was to cause me less stress
But all around us is a huge, disastrous mess
There will come a day for eating out again
But until the kids graduate - I think we'll be dining in!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Losing Weight

What happens to our bodies
As we get up in the years?
Mine has stopped responding
This fact brings my heart to tears

No matter how I try
I rarely get results
Disgusted I give up
Adding injury to insult

I wish I could survive
On water and on air
Or that I loved to exercie
But I hate it to be fair

Oh, I love the bodies
Of Aniston and Kate Moss
How lovely would it be
To use your arm for dental floss?

Despite my constant failure
I'll get back on the diet wagon
Though I think the odds are better
of breathing fire like a dragon

We each have our thorns
Mine is losing weight
I'm headed for the treadmill
To run off this cake I ate!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

My Husband

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis

Want this button?

The toilet seat is never down
He spills crumbs all over the floor
Shoes track in so much debri
And he forgets what closets are for
The mail is scattered on top of the fridge
Along with his cell phone and keys
He refuses to flush before taking a shower
But afterwards could he please, please?


He works every day to provide for our family
And so I can stay home with the boys
He helps with bedtime (and with nightly prayer rhymes)
And then picks up their ungathered toys
When I am cranky and don't want to cook
He prepares a hamburger feast
The car is always perfectly maintained
And he tends to our family beast
The time that he spends with both of our kids
Always touches my heart
And when he comes home at the end of the day
I swear it is always the best part

This is my husband...good, bad, and ugly
I'll take him any day of the week
He loves me right back and rarely complains
Without him I'd be up a creek!

(Love ya babe!)

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patent, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

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